I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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