i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
where are my pants?
in the oven.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize