We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
