the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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