Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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