I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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