YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
