So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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