So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
