just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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