this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize