yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
