and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
