420 ftw
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
