Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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