If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
