Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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