I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
