she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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