I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
