Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
