You work out of a Hotel?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
