So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
