Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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