so that wasnt chicken after all
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sobbing to NWA
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
