worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
