I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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