Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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