My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
