I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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