Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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