Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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