Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
