Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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