I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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