its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
