I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
