I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
