Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Couch. On fire.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
