the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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