who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
