It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
