why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
