I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize