I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
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