do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
