wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
