No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
