Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize