Capitaan dildo arrescate!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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