i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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