Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you are never too drunk for berry picking
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
