ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
