just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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