Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
