She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
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