BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
