I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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