she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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