My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
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