Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he thought i was a dude.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
