I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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