And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
