Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
